Do you have a couple? If the answer is yes, you will surely identify with this post. It doesn't matter if you are going through a bad time or if everything is going great, this post is useful for both cases. The techniques and resources that we are going to share can help you redirect the emotional climate of your relationship and overcome potholes, or simply improve the quality of your relationship.
One of the key aspects worked on in couples therapy is that of “Positive exchanges”. This is usually the first block we address because it helps improve the emotional climate of the couple. It serves as a prelude so that, at least, the hatchet can be buried a little before delving into other aspects that require more emotional burden and effort on both sides. In short, it is perfect for relaxing the negative atmosphere.
How do we do it?
With simple exercises that can even be fun for any couple, even if they are not in conflict.
Signs of affection
It is crucial for couples to ask for and give affection, and to be reinforced for it. Here some examples:
Kisses, caresses and spontaneous hugs in greetings and farewells.
Physical contact during free time, like holding hands, giving each other a loving spank or having some endearing ritual.
Affectionate nicknames that make you feel unique and special.
Reinforce your partner for his or her displays of affection with phrases like “Thank you love, you are a sweetheart”, to maintain reciprocity and satisfaction for both.
They are simple things that, over time, we can forget. Within this block of positive exchanges, there are some “games” that you can play to reconnect. Here I present one of the classics:
“Catch your Partner”
This exercise involves actively noticing the little good things your partner does for you. Here I tell you how I usually schedule it:
1.Find a pretty jar and post-its in two different colors.
2.For a week, each member of the couple will write on a post-it those small gestures that their partner has had with them. Example: "Monday: I loved the supportive hug when I got home from work."
3.Fold the post-its and put them in the jar.
4.At the end of the week, find a quiet moment and show the slips of paper to each other
Important: Don't focus on the number of pieces of paper each person deposits, the important thing is to reinforce each other and pay attention to the good things about your partner.
More tools for couples therapy
Interesting, right? These are simple exercises for all couples who want to continue working on their relationship. But this is only a small excerpt of all the blocks that are worked on in couples therapy, such as the communication block, empathy, assertiveness, sexuality, insight, and problem-solving skills, among others.
If you want to know more, I invite you to subscribe to our couples program to receive a small dossier with more useful tools like the ones you have learned about today.
As always, feel free to leave your opinion or ask any questions in the comments!
